Van Halen: New Album Nearing Completion... WHOOPS! NOT!!!
Conflicting reports prompt "nothing on the books" response from band spokesman
By Thom Copher
Conflicting reports prompt "nothing on the books" response from band spokesman
By Thom Copher
Y'know, I finally have to say aloud: Enough is ENOUGH, already! Jumpin'
Jesus on a pogo-stick!! The Van Halen Sideshow of Strange Behavior
continues to build by exponential leaps and bounds and may soon surpass the
Axl Rose/Guns n' Roses Circus of Stupidity as the "Once Mightiest Force in
the Universe That No One Gives a Shit About Anymore."
What event(s) finally led me to come to grips with this long-overdue
moment of clarity? Consider the recent report from MelodicRock.com
which stated the following: "VAN HALEN will tour extensively in 2011,
taking in North America, likely European dates and even some Australian
dates, which local newspaper the Herald Sun stated Sunday that the band
"...are very close to confirming an Oz visit next year." This was
followed-up early today (November 18) by that website that, through
contact with "The VH People," the official word is - and I quote - ""None
of (these reports are) true. There is 'no tour on the books' right now and
'no new album on the books'... though, according to VH Spokesman Larry
Solters, "... the guys hung out together 'working on stuff'."
Jesus on a pogo-stick!! The Van Halen Sideshow of Strange Behavior
continues to build by exponential leaps and bounds and may soon surpass the
Axl Rose/Guns n' Roses Circus of Stupidity as the "Once Mightiest Force in
the Universe That No One Gives a Shit About Anymore."
What event(s) finally led me to come to grips with this long-overdue
moment of clarity? Consider the recent report from MelodicRock.com
which stated the following: "VAN HALEN will tour extensively in 2011,
taking in North America, likely European dates and even some Australian
dates, which local newspaper the Herald Sun stated Sunday that the band
"...are very close to confirming an Oz visit next year." This was
followed-up early today (November 18) by that website that, through
contact with "The VH People," the official word is - and I quote - ""None
of (these reports are) true. There is 'no tour on the books' right now and
'no new album on the books'... though, according to VH Spokesman Larry
Solters, "... the guys hung out together 'working on stuff'."
"Yeah, man, the new record's comin' along and the tour's shaping... uh, no, not
really. But we did practice a couple of weeks ago."
really. But we did practice a couple of weeks ago."
WOW! Big-friggin'-WHOOP!!! I have this to say: These reports, along with countless
others of "songs being completed" and "an album taking shape" and "tours being
negotiated" HAD to have come from somewhere. It can't all be just hopeful
speculation. But, am I surprised? Hardly... and here's why:
It goes back to the Sammy Hagar situation. When Sammy took over as VH's vocalist,
the change was so drastic that nobody... and I mean NObody - not Ed, not Al, not
the VH People, not the execs at Warner Brothers, not the VH fans... I take that
back, both Michael Anthony and I had a suspicion - so, VIRTUALLY NObody realized
that Van Halen was actually a BETTER BAND. The first time around with David Lee
Roth was mostly band-centered, but it was a predicament which was embellished by
cartoon characterization and blanketed with myth and urban legend. As Sammy
settled in, the sensationalism that WAS Van Halen wore off and many fans either
grew up and got on with the responsibility known as life or they moved their attention
to Seattle. Sammy Hagar was, in reflection, too much for Van Halen.
So, without so much as a simple "thanks for everything," Sammy woke up one day as a
solo artist once again. Too bad, because I have always believed that Sammy could
have contributed so much more to Van Halen. It goes without saying that the
Sammy-era VH, "Van-Hagar" as I have never called it, produced some classic tunes.
What followed was what seemed like a no-brainer as Ed, Al and Mike reunited with
Dave on a couple of tunes for a "Greatest Hits" album, then publicly in front of God
others of "songs being completed" and "an album taking shape" and "tours being
negotiated" HAD to have come from somewhere. It can't all be just hopeful
speculation. But, am I surprised? Hardly... and here's why:
It goes back to the Sammy Hagar situation. When Sammy took over as VH's vocalist,
the change was so drastic that nobody... and I mean NObody - not Ed, not Al, not
the VH People, not the execs at Warner Brothers, not the VH fans... I take that
back, both Michael Anthony and I had a suspicion - so, VIRTUALLY NObody realized
that Van Halen was actually a BETTER BAND. The first time around with David Lee
Roth was mostly band-centered, but it was a predicament which was embellished by
cartoon characterization and blanketed with myth and urban legend. As Sammy
settled in, the sensationalism that WAS Van Halen wore off and many fans either
grew up and got on with the responsibility known as life or they moved their attention
to Seattle. Sammy Hagar was, in reflection, too much for Van Halen.
So, without so much as a simple "thanks for everything," Sammy woke up one day as a
solo artist once again. Too bad, because I have always believed that Sammy could
have contributed so much more to Van Halen. It goes without saying that the
Sammy-era VH, "Van-Hagar" as I have never called it, produced some classic tunes.
What followed was what seemed like a no-brainer as Ed, Al and Mike reunited with
Dave on a couple of tunes for a "Greatest Hits" album, then publicly in front of God
"We've got the whole world in our hands, we've got... OOOWWW,
oh no, not the Van Halen-vice-death grip!!"
oh no, not the Van Halen-vice-death grip!!"
and everybody at the 1996 MTV Music Awards... and that lasted about half-an-hour, culminating in a near-fistfight between Ed and
Dave. So, somebody explain to me why VH would then hire Gary Cherone, an awesome vocalist in his own right who already had a secure
gig with Extreme... Jeez, the Cherone Situation was, from the get-go, too similar in its construction to the Sammy Situation. Why not
hire a relative unknown and start fresh? Given the fact that Eddie had a myriad of personal problems, VH-Mach III was destined for
failure.
This brings to the realization of a new chapter... the Michael Anthony Situation. I did not know at the time that Mike only performed
bass duties on three of the 12 songs featured on Van Halen III. Gary Cherone was (mercifully, as it may be interpreted) released from
the band and the guys should have called it, or at least officially put things on hold. Instead, the baiting started. About a decade
passed, Michael Anthony holding steady with his allegiance to VH, and the band was "officially" a three-piece. With nothing to show since
VH III, Sammy was suddenly back and a successful tour came and went... and then Sammy woke up one day and, well, you know.
Now, Sammy and Mike always had a musical chemistry, so it wasn't surprising that they wound up performing together as The Other Half
during Sammy's 2006 tour. '06 also marked Mike's official departure from VH. There is, however - as we all know, an interesting twist
to all of this. Van Halen was inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2007 - and who do you think appeared to accept the award?
Sammy and Mike, of course... the two guys who WEREN'T EVEN IN Van Halen anymore. And with that came closure to the Sammy
Hagar and Michael Anthony Situations... no more speculation of reuniting - no kiss, kiss... no bang, bang.
So, here we are in the present. Wolfgang, Ed's son, is (as of '07) playing bass with VH, so I guess we REALLY CAN call it Van Halen
again... or maybe "Van Halen (.75)"... or maybe "Van Halen featuring David Lee Roth"... or (how's this for a reality check) "Van Halen
Who STILL Doesn't Have a New Album Out." Heck, who knows if they EVER WILL have a new album. Here's an idea: When Dave and
Ed piss each other off again, and this is inevitable, maybe they can snag Axl Rose! The next Gn'R album won't be out for another 15
years. Van-Axl/Axl-Halen... hey, it's got a ring! Van-Cherone... like I said, never had a chance. And Van-Hagar... that was a media
concoction which was, in retrospect, an insult to Sammy Hagar.
In the meantime, Sammy and Mike have a little thing going on with Joe Satriani and Chad Smith called Chickenfoot - you may have heard
of 'em. Their debut album has been certified gold.
Dave. So, somebody explain to me why VH would then hire Gary Cherone, an awesome vocalist in his own right who already had a secure
gig with Extreme... Jeez, the Cherone Situation was, from the get-go, too similar in its construction to the Sammy Situation. Why not
hire a relative unknown and start fresh? Given the fact that Eddie had a myriad of personal problems, VH-Mach III was destined for
failure.
This brings to the realization of a new chapter... the Michael Anthony Situation. I did not know at the time that Mike only performed
bass duties on three of the 12 songs featured on Van Halen III. Gary Cherone was (mercifully, as it may be interpreted) released from
the band and the guys should have called it, or at least officially put things on hold. Instead, the baiting started. About a decade
passed, Michael Anthony holding steady with his allegiance to VH, and the band was "officially" a three-piece. With nothing to show since
VH III, Sammy was suddenly back and a successful tour came and went... and then Sammy woke up one day and, well, you know.
Now, Sammy and Mike always had a musical chemistry, so it wasn't surprising that they wound up performing together as The Other Half
during Sammy's 2006 tour. '06 also marked Mike's official departure from VH. There is, however - as we all know, an interesting twist
to all of this. Van Halen was inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2007 - and who do you think appeared to accept the award?
Sammy and Mike, of course... the two guys who WEREN'T EVEN IN Van Halen anymore. And with that came closure to the Sammy
Hagar and Michael Anthony Situations... no more speculation of reuniting - no kiss, kiss... no bang, bang.
So, here we are in the present. Wolfgang, Ed's son, is (as of '07) playing bass with VH, so I guess we REALLY CAN call it Van Halen
again... or maybe "Van Halen (.75)"... or maybe "Van Halen featuring David Lee Roth"... or (how's this for a reality check) "Van Halen
Who STILL Doesn't Have a New Album Out." Heck, who knows if they EVER WILL have a new album. Here's an idea: When Dave and
Ed piss each other off again, and this is inevitable, maybe they can snag Axl Rose! The next Gn'R album won't be out for another 15
years. Van-Axl/Axl-Halen... hey, it's got a ring! Van-Cherone... like I said, never had a chance. And Van-Hagar... that was a media
concoction which was, in retrospect, an insult to Sammy Hagar.
In the meantime, Sammy and Mike have a little thing going on with Joe Satriani and Chad Smith called Chickenfoot - you may have heard
of 'em. Their debut album has been certified gold.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
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