Alice Cooper swaps addictions, finding salvation on the course
By Thom Copher
For Sunday Gazette-Mail
My infatuation with Alice Cooper began in 1975, shortly after his original band had parted ways and he had gone solo with Welcome
to My Nightmare. His show had it all - blood and guts, guillotines, vaudeville, all joined with real meat-and-potatoes rock 'n' roll that
spoke about angst, excess and arrogance.
The Coop took his rock shtick to the n-th degree with bare-knuckled social observations, serious yet tongue-in-cheek, all the while
leaving a trail of spent Budweiser cans in his path. Kids loved it and parents hated it. Perfect.
Alice also played golf.
"Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict" is a multifaceted gem that is part
autobiography and part advice on how to conquer what many consider to be the most frustrating of all sports. In true Cooper
fashion, Alice brings a Zen-like approach to how he replaced a destructive addiction to alcohol with a healthy addiction to golf as a
means to stay straight.
From a retrospective standpoint, "Monster" is not a preachy anti-alcohol disclosure. Instead, Alice treats us to little-known intricacies
behind his band's meteoric rise where weirdness and unpredictability laid the groundwork for unlikely success. The read doesn't
dwell on the fact that Alice was the biggest rocker on the planet, a socialite for all occasions on the outside, yet consumed by his
contrived professional persona on the inside.
The interesting recollections are about how Groucho Marx, battling insomnia, would call Alice to visit at 2 a.m. to watch movies; or
a bumbling, Clousseau-like improv while dining with Peter Sellers at an A-List Hollywood restaurant; or being called in to meet Frank
Sinatra prior to The Chairman's performance of an Alice song. That was all the roll behind the rock during which Alice "the creation"
inevitably nearly destroyed Alice "the creator."
Then came the revelation: Golf!
Alice admits that during the 1970s he had shown a natural flair for the game. Back then, however, it was just another outlet for him
to occupy his time while drinking. The 12 steps, patterned after the AA scenario for confronting and avoiding addiction, is a
first-person perspective on how to confront and strengthen an addiction. Suggestions like "Play For the Right Reasons," "Confront
Your Demons and Defeat Them" and "Play With Those Who Inspire You" are tidbits that have taken Alice from hacker to
scratch-golfer to pro-am competitor with a 5 handicap. Alice reveals how fairway experiences with John Daly, Chi Chi Rodriguez
and Bob Hope helped shape his 12 steps for success on the links just as hanging with Janis Joplin and Frank Zappa were instrumental
in molding his rock persona.
Alcoholism, of course, can be an ugly fiend, especially when recollected in print by an honest person. It would be rather pointless to
read such a traverse, which would have a predictable procession, given what is already known about its author. Alice Cooper,
however, is anything but predictable. Here he gives us entertaining snippets that happened along the way - we can fill in the blanks as
to how much was consumed. After all, a stumbling drunk in public is awkward to deal with both in person and in print.
"Golf Monster" is about growing up and redemption in a world where adolescent, decadent behavior seems to be the means to an
end. At one point, Alice rationalizes "Growing older was something none of my rock 'n' roll peers saw coming. Now all of a sudden
we're married [with] kids and families. Instead of chasing groupies and buying drugs, we're trying to score a tee time."
Public Enemy No. 1? He's still alive and well, touring and recording six months out of the year. The rest of the time? No problem:
Alice hosts his own radio show, oversees his Cooperstown restaurants across the country, arranges and conducts charity events and
continues to maintain his family life alongside wife-of-30-plus-years Sheryl, the skinny kid he met as she choreographed his
Nightmare show way back when.
This all said, the obvious question arises: What exactly is the Golf Monster? Is it Alice himself, the fanatic for the game? Could it be
the game that consumes many of those who dare to experience it? Perhaps, again in Cooper-like fashion, it could be the omnipresent
being that, much like Alice Cooper, is the sum of all its parts which can be whatever we need it to be.
Or, it could simply be the daunting task of trying to put a little white ball into a hole in the ground.
The former Vincent Furnier, a son of a preacher man, has lived nearly 60 years as an open book. Alice presents "Golf Monster" as
newly discovered testaments that make that book more clear to understand and truly appreciate.
"Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict"
By Alice Cooper with Keith and Kent Zimmerman
Crown ($24.95)
By Thom Copher
For Sunday Gazette-Mail
My infatuation with Alice Cooper began in 1975, shortly after his original band had parted ways and he had gone solo with Welcome
to My Nightmare. His show had it all - blood and guts, guillotines, vaudeville, all joined with real meat-and-potatoes rock 'n' roll that
spoke about angst, excess and arrogance.
The Coop took his rock shtick to the n-th degree with bare-knuckled social observations, serious yet tongue-in-cheek, all the while
leaving a trail of spent Budweiser cans in his path. Kids loved it and parents hated it. Perfect.
Alice also played golf.
"Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict" is a multifaceted gem that is part
autobiography and part advice on how to conquer what many consider to be the most frustrating of all sports. In true Cooper
fashion, Alice brings a Zen-like approach to how he replaced a destructive addiction to alcohol with a healthy addiction to golf as a
means to stay straight.
From a retrospective standpoint, "Monster" is not a preachy anti-alcohol disclosure. Instead, Alice treats us to little-known intricacies
behind his band's meteoric rise where weirdness and unpredictability laid the groundwork for unlikely success. The read doesn't
dwell on the fact that Alice was the biggest rocker on the planet, a socialite for all occasions on the outside, yet consumed by his
contrived professional persona on the inside.
The interesting recollections are about how Groucho Marx, battling insomnia, would call Alice to visit at 2 a.m. to watch movies; or
a bumbling, Clousseau-like improv while dining with Peter Sellers at an A-List Hollywood restaurant; or being called in to meet Frank
Sinatra prior to The Chairman's performance of an Alice song. That was all the roll behind the rock during which Alice "the creation"
inevitably nearly destroyed Alice "the creator."
Then came the revelation: Golf!
Alice admits that during the 1970s he had shown a natural flair for the game. Back then, however, it was just another outlet for him
to occupy his time while drinking. The 12 steps, patterned after the AA scenario for confronting and avoiding addiction, is a
first-person perspective on how to confront and strengthen an addiction. Suggestions like "Play For the Right Reasons," "Confront
Your Demons and Defeat Them" and "Play With Those Who Inspire You" are tidbits that have taken Alice from hacker to
scratch-golfer to pro-am competitor with a 5 handicap. Alice reveals how fairway experiences with John Daly, Chi Chi Rodriguez
and Bob Hope helped shape his 12 steps for success on the links just as hanging with Janis Joplin and Frank Zappa were instrumental
in molding his rock persona.
Alcoholism, of course, can be an ugly fiend, especially when recollected in print by an honest person. It would be rather pointless to
read such a traverse, which would have a predictable procession, given what is already known about its author. Alice Cooper,
however, is anything but predictable. Here he gives us entertaining snippets that happened along the way - we can fill in the blanks as
to how much was consumed. After all, a stumbling drunk in public is awkward to deal with both in person and in print.
"Golf Monster" is about growing up and redemption in a world where adolescent, decadent behavior seems to be the means to an
end. At one point, Alice rationalizes "Growing older was something none of my rock 'n' roll peers saw coming. Now all of a sudden
we're married [with] kids and families. Instead of chasing groupies and buying drugs, we're trying to score a tee time."
Public Enemy No. 1? He's still alive and well, touring and recording six months out of the year. The rest of the time? No problem:
Alice hosts his own radio show, oversees his Cooperstown restaurants across the country, arranges and conducts charity events and
continues to maintain his family life alongside wife-of-30-plus-years Sheryl, the skinny kid he met as she choreographed his
Nightmare show way back when.
This all said, the obvious question arises: What exactly is the Golf Monster? Is it Alice himself, the fanatic for the game? Could it be
the game that consumes many of those who dare to experience it? Perhaps, again in Cooper-like fashion, it could be the omnipresent
being that, much like Alice Cooper, is the sum of all its parts which can be whatever we need it to be.
Or, it could simply be the daunting task of trying to put a little white ball into a hole in the ground.
The former Vincent Furnier, a son of a preacher man, has lived nearly 60 years as an open book. Alice presents "Golf Monster" as
newly discovered testaments that make that book more clear to understand and truly appreciate.
"Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: A Rock 'n' Roller's 12 Steps to Becoming a Golf Addict"
By Alice Cooper with Keith and Kent Zimmerman
Crown ($24.95)